Fear
Hi Friends! This week’s topic might seem a little scary, but I promise it’ll be worth it. Let’s talk about fear.
Fear. It’s something that we can all understand and relate to. It also seems to be a driving force for decision making these days. From politics and religion to sales and marketing, fear has become a vehicle for igniting concerns of safety and thoughts of scarcity.
What I have come to learn about fear is that it is, more than anything, a physical response that generates states of being that change the way we move through the world. For example, when fear chemistry is enabled within me, I tend to operate with a scarcity mindset or try to control everything I encounter.
I began to understand this more deeply during the episodes of pain I experienced with ongoing health issues I had last year. Sitting in a hospital waiting room in excruciating pain, surely my body was in fear, but more so, fear opened a pathway for suffering. What I have come to understand about suffering is that it doesn’t exist in the present. It is rooted in fear of the past or the future. In my case, fear that the pain would continue in the future, based on what I have experienced in the past.
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The Biology of Fear
“Fear reaction starts in the brain and spreads through the body to make adjustments for the best defense, or flight reaction… This leads to bodily changes that prepare us to be more efficient in a danger: The brain becomes hyperalert, pupils dilate, the bronchi dilate and breathing accelerates. Heart rate and blood pressure rise. Blood flow and stream of glucose to the skeletal muscles increase. Organs not vital in survival such as the gastrointestinal system slow down.” - Arash Javanbakht and Linda Saab, Smithsonian Magazine
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Fear Signatures
Fight
Chin comes up and out; weight is forward; a person’s arms get tight, hands may form into fists; action speeds up, talking is faster, louder, shriller. This type of fear can be confused with anger.
Flee
Part or all of you leave the vicinity; the first movement may be one shoulder coming back, or a person’s weight moving backward; this can be accompanied by feet beginning to move and a nervous laugh. A person may flee the situation mentally without even moving–like when eyes glaze over. People may use the consumption of drugs, alcohol, technology or food to flee.
Freeze
A person’s body becomes tight and stiff, may be accompanied by a nervous smile. A startle response is a freeze move. Thoughts begin to recycle like a hamster wheel. The person may be replaying the last thing that they heard and trying on different responses in their mind, but are not usually talking.
Faint
Thinking becomes foggy, confused, the person feels drained, sleepy; may even faint or fall asleep. Your jaw may hang open. Often people feel or act ‘stupid.’ Imagine energy is draining out of the soles of the feet, that there’s no anchor, ‘feeling adrift.’
Definitions from “Introduction to Fear Melters®,” The Foundation for Conscious Living
There is a lot of value and power in knowing how fear presents itself in you. For me, it depends on where the object of fear is located. If the object of fear is exogenous (relating to external factors), I’ll respond with a flee/fight combo. As someone who actively avoids conflict, my first instinct is to remove myself from the situation (flee). Once I’m removed, I’ll then go over what happened, often ruminating, which will generate more fear. This fear creates feelings of anger and frustration which will bring me over to fight.
When the object of fear is endogenous (originating from or occurring within), I move quickly to freeze then to faint. I’ll physically and/or mentally become very still while I overthink. In this state, it is impossible for me to make a rational decision. Anyone who encounters me while I’m in freeze is usually met with a completely misdirected outburst. “I don’t know what I want for dinner, would it kill you to come up with some options yourself?!”
This is the combo I experience most often because the stories I tell myself are much scarier and more frequent than anything happening outside of myself… something I sense many of us can relate to.
Some questions to consider:
What types of fear make up your fear signature?
Do they vary from situation to situation?
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Releasing Fear
“Even ducks have taught me important spiritual lessons, just watching them is a meditation. How peacefully they float along, at ease with themselves, totally present in the Now, dignified and perfect as only a mindless creature can be. Occasionally, however, two ducks will get into a fight -- sometimes for no apparent reason, or because one duck has strayed into another's private space. The fight usually lasts only for a few seconds, and then the ducks separate, swim off in opposite directions, and vigorously flap their wings a few times. They then continue to swim on peacefully as if the fight had never happened. When I observed that for the first time, I suddenly realized that by flapping their wings they were releasing surplus energy, thus preventing it from becoming trapped in their body and turning into negativity. This is natural wisdom, and it is easy for them because they do not have a mind that keeps the past alive unnecessarily and then builds an identity around it.” ― Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
What Eckhart Tolle is describing here is nature’s response to fear. These ducks are moving their bodies in such a way to release the stress hormones and negative energy build up, enabling them to move forward, leaving their experience of stress and fear behind.
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The Hendricks Institute has developed a remarkable **somatic tool that supports just this. We call them Fear Melters®. Each of these movements have been developed to counteract their corresponding type of fear, supporting the release of fear chemistry and returning to a state of ease and flow.
** As an FYI “Somatic therapy, sometimes known as body psychotherapy, is a therapeutic approach that places importance on what we experience in the mind and the body as well as the connection between the two.” - Forbes
There has been much research that shows moving your body and changing your posture for two minutes can reduce stress hormones and create a positive shift in your sense of aliveness. Keep that in mind when trying on these movements.
When in fight…
OOZE: Begin to move slowly as if you are warm chocolate oozing off a spoon. Ooze your arms, shoulders, and hips and even your jaw; slow your words down and change your tone of voice.
When in flee…
ROOT: Widen your stance and bend your knees a little or a lot. Let your toes spread out as you imagine beautiful roots extending from your feet into the nourishment of the earth. Imagine the earth’s energy infusing you with aliveness here and now.
When in freeze…
WIGGLE: Begin to wiggle your fingers and toes, eventually wiggle your hips and shoulders; to unfreeze fully you will eventually need to wiggle your core.
When in faint…
LOVE SCOOPS: Reach your arms out around you as if you are gathering energy and love towards you. Bring your hands towards you, touching your head, chest, belly or wherever love is needed. Focus on accessing your resources.
Definitions and illustrations from the Hendricks Institute & Foundation for Conscious Living.
Personally, I spend a lot of time in the “wiggle” move. I will stop what I’m doing, stand up, shake my hands and arms, walk around and even shake off my legs. If you want to try this out with Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off (Taylor’s Version)” playing, that’s nearly four minutes of movement!
When I am having trouble identifying what exactly is creating tension within me, I’ll often resort to going for a run, working out, or even dancing it out because I know the physical exertion tends to release whatever is building up chemically and energetically.
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Fear is a very real experience with very real physical responses. My toss to each of us is to generate awareness of when we shift from presence into fear. When this noticing is paired with movement like the Fear Melters® and conscious shifting, it can increase our aliveness and change the way we interact with those around us. Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
The content above was created in collaboration with The Hendricks Institute. For more information on the fear signatures and fear melters, visit the Foundation for Conscious Living’s website.
Thanks for reading!
If this post resonates with you, I would so appreciate your sharing it with friends, loved ones, and colleagues.