Values
Hi friends! This week I want to toss out a thought about values and beliefs as they relate to who we are. The idea was inspired by a quote which launched me into a big “huh,” moment. I’ve outlined my thoughts for you all as well as an activity that I use frequently with clients. Let’s dive in.
“Who you are should be a question of what you value, not what you believe.”
- Adam Grant
I heard this quote for the first time a few days ago and I cannot stop thinking about it. How are we defining ourselves in relation to others? How are these “beliefs” informing the decisions we make? Are they reflective of who we really are and what we value most?
________________
Value
Value: a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life. – Oxford Dictionary
Belief: trust, faith, or confidence in someone or something. – Oxford Dictionary
Lately, I’ve found myself wondering about how we identify ourselves in relation to what we believe. We place ourselves in groups that prescribe actions and beliefs, but do they align with who we are and what we truly value? Can any one group really align with the sum total of our experiences and the values we hold closest?
The world we live in today seems to move us in the direction of “this or that” and “either/or,” with little regard for the liminal space between two ideas or positions. What I am finding more and more is that the values we hold often place us somewhere in the middle of two ideas. More than one thing can be true to us at a time, but are we creating spaces for this kind of duality? Are we doing this for ourselves? For others?
________________
When I work with entrepreneurs and stakeholders of a brand/business, we often begin with defining values. If you imagine a tree, values are the roots: they are unwavering, keep you grounded, provide nourishment, and inform what is seen above the surface.
This process is incredibly important because it creates a deep alignment on who/what the brand is relation to the world around it, informing all the people who work for and interact with it. It also creates a foundational system of checks and balances when it comes to decision making. “Does this align with our values?” If yes, proceed. If no, rethink.
I mention this because I feel that each of us have our own sets of values within us, shaping who we are and our desires. What I am wondering is how often we choose to set a value aside in order to act on a belief or what we think might be “true”. Whether it’s a belief of our own or one prescribed by a group, are we creating misalignments within ourselves to satisfy the “need” for a binary choice or outcome?
________________
Defining Values
Here is a a great exercise to help identify and define values…
Write: Make two lists: “who I am” and “who I am not.” These lists will help surface language around what you find most important. You could even ask those closest to you for words and inspiration. Sometimes those around us see us better than ourselves.
Refine: Once you’ve got good lists, begin to refine. Group words together that share the same sentiment on both lists and you’ll begin to see the essence of who you are and who you are not.
Define: From that first list, “who I am,” begin to define your values, noting the contrast they create with the “who I am not” list.
I’ve done this activity myself and landed on four values that I believe encompass my essence: curiosity, authenticity, intention and co-creation.
When it comes to making any choice or if I ever feel a wobble within me, I always refer back to these four words and what they mean to me. It has been an incredible resource for keeping me in my integrity and generating aligned experiences in the world and with those around me.
________________
I hope this idea has sparked something within you, even if it’s simply reflecting on the values you know to be true to your essence. As we move through this year, let’s continue to question the beliefs around us and measure them against our values, inspiring action that brings us closer to our essence and the joy it creates.
Thanks for reading!
If this post resonates with you, I would so appreciate your sharing it with friends, loved ones, and colleagues.